Silver Surfer's Travels Part 4 - The day that Granny became a bigger star

This is the final instalment of Granny's last holiday.  For part 1 click here.  Part 2 click here.  Part 3 click here.

The last day with Granny started early.  She has spent the month in my bedroom and I’ve been sleeping on the lounge floor – well except for the night I was sleep walking and frightened the poor woman at 3am by trying to get into her bed… a story for another day!

So at stupid-o-clock I wake to hear the washing machine on its first cycle and Granny singing in the kitchen whilst baking.  I lifted my head to peer into the kitchen and Granny sings back to me:

G:  Argh hen, did I wake you?

Me:  You have the washing machine on

G:  But the machine is silent

Me:  It sounds like a train and I have earplugs in

G:  Well I cannae hear it, noo get yersel up and help me

We had a friend and her baby coming to visit so it was all action stations in the kitchen as Granny started baking scones.  Every cupboard door she opened was met with a bowl pointed in my face and a scream of “how can you cook with this?”  I panicked every time she asked me for utensils in case I couldn’t find them quickly enough and when I told her not to stress as my friend wouldn’t mind I only just managed to duck in time before the plate hit the wall!

After three hours of cooking scones, cheesecakes and other things that I dare not ask about we were ready for our visitors, well not before I got a clip round the ear for licking the bowl… and then all hell broke loose.  Granny opened the oven and took one look at the scones whilst shrieking “they’re stodgy”, now I’m not quite sure what stodgy means but it sounded really serious so I just ran away and hid.

In the evening I had to go to the local restaurant awards, a work event.  Gran and Uncle George were there and dressed to impress.  HOWEVER, let’s just say that fine dining is wasted on Uncle George.  They were on a table of ten and the girls either side of George spent most of the night giggling at his face and the rest plying him with bread to help stop him shouting “what the feck is that?” as every course was placed in front of him.  At one point he did attempt to put a piece of lobster in his mouth and he swallowed the foie gras in one go, without it touching the sides… of course it was washed down with beer.

Then came the awards.  Granny and Uncle George were clapping and whooping along with the rest of them as their favourites won awards and I’m sure the hissing and booing came from their table when their favourites didn’t win. 

And then came the final surprise - there was one award that we knew would not be collected so we had arranged in advance that we’d call wee Scottish Granny up to accept it, I had not told anyone at their table but had arranged for someone to stand behind Granny and make sure that she went on to the stage for it.

So there was wee Scottish Granny in amongst 420 VIP’s when the winner of best Café was announced.  The emcee explained that there was no representative from the winners to collect it and he called Granny to accept it on their behalf…  I have never seen her so speechless or look so shell-shocked.  As she reached the stage everyone applauded and I could hear my Aunt shouting through tears “That’s MY Mummy!!”.  Granny accepted the award and stood to get her photographs taken by the local press.

After the event she pulled me to one side and told me that she had never been so petrified in all her life standing up in front of all of those people… but I know that she loved it.  I know that the folks in her hometown will have heard the story over and over and over again.

The holiday ended with Granny being the star that she truly is.  It’s impossible not to love her.