1. The announcement of the line up is met with boos and disappointment as the 'most gorgeous player' is not included
2. At kick off a disagreement starts because it cannot be established whether we are 'the whites or the reds'
3. Each tackle is met with a wince and scream of 'oooo, he is such a bully'
4. Twenty minutes in and concentration is redirected to the sale that has been announced at the local shopping mall
5. Shouts of 'penalty', 'corner' and 'offside' are all followed by an enquiring look and a whisper of 'did I say that at the right time?'
6. A countdown to half time starts amidst sulks and groans after being told more than once to stop talking about shoes and concentrate
7. The fifteen minutes of half time where it is ok to talk are silent
8. The second half invites discussions on the fact that football would be a lot more interesting if it looked like this:
9. Ten minutes before the final whistle the 'are we reds or whites?' discussion starts again10. The final whistle is met with major excitement as 'they will take their t-shirts off in a minute'
I will be back soon but hopefully not before England kick Germany's ass. Please cross your fingers and toes...
Ha ha....sounds like deja vu, except that I can't even make out an offside! Husband says I should stop yelling 'that hurts, ouch!'
ReplyDeleteHah I can just picture it :) Germany was my favorite in 1992!
ReplyDeleteI have been watching more tennis than soccer, I like it but I can't handle the sound of those horns.....I'm sure that is what I would hear if I were being chased by massive amounts of bees......I am hoping for England but I'm not sure they will go much further. Canada didn't even make it in so what do I know. Back to work for you my friend, do you have a TV at work? Enjoy the game...:-)Hugs
ReplyDeleteI have to say that I'm more of a Wimbledon girl myself, however I could possibly be persuaded to change my mind if football really did look a bit more like that.
ReplyDeleteNah, I don't watch soccer at all -- just the highlights during the news after it's over. David and I prefer to watch American football and American basketball games, which we find much more exciting!!!
ReplyDeleteOh, you could not find anyone less into football than me, although I watch it occasionally if people in the lab turn on that big screen TV that we have.;) Danes are football crazy and unfortunately out of the Cup.;) But Slovakia made it so far, lets see how long they will last.;)
ReplyDeleteHave a great weekend,
xoxo
I'm not enjoying the world cup at all. I don't understand the game and I hate the sound of a million buzzing bees...
ReplyDeleteGappy is so funny. Maybe it would be more interesting with those non-tanned behinds running around the field. I like your description of all the gabbing and giggling during the actual game and then silence during halftime.
ReplyDeleteVery funny. I agree the photo possibility would indeed make second half more...special.
ReplyDelete:)))) (me laughing)
Teresa
Sooooo...... reds or whites? Did you ever decide? And as for punctuating your game watching with shoe talk... welll.... I see no harm in livening things up.
ReplyDeleteAnd the photo? Delish, delish, delish.
I am not sports minded, at all and here I am in one of the biggest "Cornhusker's, go big red" city in Nebraska. In fact on football Saturdays, I do not go near the stadium. I was happy to see your comment on my blog. I to in return, like your blog so much. You are funny and not afraid to talk about anything. That is what makes your blog so cool.
ReplyDeleteExactly.
ReplyDeleteTeam UK all the way!
ReplyDeleteNude football players would totally help me to have more investment in watching the game, those guys are brutally hot! I didn't even know guys could look like that!
PS
come over and collect your award from me, this post made me laugh out loud!
This was funny. My Mom's been following Football too. Her cheers for a goal wakes me up from sleep most of the time.
ReplyDeleteToodles...
We're not even in the world cup, yet this house revolves around it! And our holiday in France (who knocked us out...rem Thierry Henry and the hand ball?) revolved around it!
ReplyDeleteWhere is that shopping mall that's having the sale?
#5 and #8!! :)
ReplyDeleteYou have livened it up a bit for me. I'll have to tune back in. Go UK
ReplyDeleteHip, hip, hooray!!!!!!!!! I'm screeching with laughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You're BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!!!!!!!!!! And I'm LOVIN', LOVIN' this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I happen to be a former "soccer"/football player...and my son plays "soccer"/football...but I think your commentary is PERFECT!!!!!! Roaring over your suggestions...I've got my smiles for the ENTIRE weekend NOW!!!!!!! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! AND GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO UK!!!!!!!!!! Woo Hoo! You're the best, btw! ~Janine XO
ReplyDeleteSO funny! LOVED this post!!!! I do not watch sports but you made it sounds really fun!!!:)
ReplyDeleteE.D - You know WAY more than me about this and yes nudity would probably improve any sport.
ReplyDeleteShhh, shhh! The game's on! (grin)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry! I lost my train of thought when the picture came up!
ReplyDeleteUm, I'm cheering for a different team, but I love the whole World Cup fever that's been sparked this time! The games have been awesome!
Women are natural fans of soccer -- we have our own vulvazelas and everything!
ReplyDeleteMy husband just groans when I start discussing which team has the nicest color uniforms. It would be a whole lot more interesting if played as in the picture. And I LOVE the comment of Debra She Who Seeks!
ReplyDeleteLOL...very accurate description there missy.. I think I have experienced this many many times.. and just to add something.. when the final whistle blows I usually ask.... who won????? hee hee
ReplyDeleteSunday is a big day!!!!!!!! Come on ENGLAND!!!!!!!
Sounds like all good reason to watch football to me!
ReplyDeleteI played soccer, and coached a soccer team..I still don't like it!
ReplyDeleteI think similar items apply to women watching our American football.
ReplyDeleteMy wife really does understand the game and could care less about shopping, but I know she's the exception not the rule.
I've been watching too and my husband glares at me because I keep trying to have a conversation during the game. I just really don't understand "offsides" and some of the uniforms are really ugly and the refs need a talking to.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I moved to WordPress and I got rid of my old commenting system so perhaps now your comments will not be rejected.
U.S. Is supposed to play today, but it's pouring. I wonder if they will reschedule?
Okay, I admit it. That was me. I said it. The game would be a whole lot more interesting if the guys ran afield in their birthday suits. And I was see it from the front.
ReplyDeleteOkay, front . . . back . . . I don't care. Just as long as I'm seeing it.
I'm loving the footie - going shopping when a match is on is perfect;) xx
ReplyDeleteI'm too ADD to stop and watch the World Cup, but I have to admit - the hottness gets my attention!
ReplyDeleteYou know to us U.S. people, football is a totally different sport. For the most part, this country has never gotten behind soccer. I guess we like violence too much! lol
ReplyDeleteMaybe I would watch it if it was like #8 :)
ReplyDeleteHa, ha! Very cute. I could get into this sport if they played naked.
ReplyDeleteMissed the first half (and the goal) because I was in a lesson. There were 26 other people in that room who would rather have been watching football, too! But saw the second half. Come on, Ingerland!
ReplyDeleteI'd have to say that if the game consisted of the picture above, I would watch... for a minute or so...
ReplyDeleteDefinatly hit the highlights at the end though :)
I've no idea why men find football so fascinating. It leaves me completely cold like most other sports. But I can see from your commentary that watching it with a bunch of women would be a load of fun. It would be even more fun if they had to play in drag. "Sorry, my mascara's running, darling, give me five minutes."
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the photo ; -)
ReplyDeleteOoh buns so tight you can bounce 'm off the wall! I'm very careful not to yell 'offside' before anyone else does.
ReplyDeleteI don't give a rat's ass about soccer or football or whatever the fuck we're calling it. I DO give a rat's ass about loud men hogging all the bars and yelling while I'm sipping a perfectly chilled Sauv Blanc, bitches! Grumble.
ReplyDeleteMy roommate and I also claim the players as our future lovers, not at all based on skill but entirely based on looks. Although to be fair to us, we do know about penalties and I think we'd have to be really drunk not to know which team is which color. Especially since it's right next to their name where it says the score...
ReplyDeleteI have watched most of the matches which is no easy feat when they're on at 2am or 6.30am. My joy has diminished a bit as my boys (NZ) didn't make it through. But we're so bloody proud of them anyway.
ReplyDeleteMy partner plays soccer so Ive had the offside rule thoroughly explained. I think I mostly understand it.
And im sorry but Ive got money on Germany going through so Im hoping they thrash England.
I admit, I am not a fan of the SPORT, but I LOVE the fans and the amazing hype! It has definitely sucked me in! (Also, it doesn't hurt that the players are, indeed, dreamy!!)
ReplyDeleteNASCAR is where it's at hoe!!!!
ReplyDeleteIts not just girls! I barely understood any of that!
ReplyDeleteHubby has been watching soccer-- and knows nothing about it. I know even less. The only thing I know for sure is USA lost- So I don't have to watch anymore ;-)
ReplyDeletexo jj
I really enjoy it when the quarterback does a commercial for a conserv......oh wait.....your talking about a different kind of football. ;) Just a joke. I missed reading you while I was gone. Kisses!!
ReplyDeleteNow if the teams dressed, or didn't dress like the players in the photo, I might be persuaded to watch instead of listen to the games.
ReplyDeleteI really like the "naked uniforms." If that would be the rule, even more women would be interested in watching soccer. Plus, what is the use of the uniforms if you can separate the teams anyway?
ReplyDeleteI think you were talking about soccer but all I could see was the naked guys.
ReplyDeleteWe are watching the England vs Germany game right now. I think we've watched all the matches! Love Football! But we have the arguement about who's what color too!
ReplyDeleteLMAO!
ReplyDeleteI had everything crossed but it didn't make a blind bit of difference - we still lost. :(
ReplyDeleteBut rugby is so much better than football I find. The thighs are firmer, the men more rugged and the games 10 minutes shorter.
ReplyDeletegreat post, sugar! came over from the goddess & her POTW awards. i've read y'all's comments on other sites, so it was a double incentive to visit! (i've watched almost all the matches, but then, i'm the exception, not the rule, in georgia!) xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteSounds like me at the Dodger/Yankee game yesterday, "Um, so who is that guy with the big shoulders?"
ReplyDeleteOMG, this is SOOO true!!
ReplyDeleteWhen we go to a game I have to watch the other fans. When they cheer I know it's my cue to cheer too! :)
You will be pleased to learn that I do not watch football like a woman at all…am I allowed to watch?
ReplyDeleteLOL you described it perfectly! heheh
ReplyDeleteFunny! How come I haven't seen a game where the players looked like that?! Maybe more would watch!
ReplyDeleteit was a rough weekend: england loses, the u.s. loses, and i have a zombie hangover. someone push reset.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I forgot soccer is actually called football or should I say futbal. To be honest I have never watched it. When you said football and England, I thought you was talking about the New England Patriots! LOL! Yeah, I'm dumb like that!
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like me with pretty much any sport ever.
ReplyDelete