The very bestest thing about school trips = Coach journey
The very bestest thing about not growing an inch since I was twelve was the fact that I was always the tallest. The tallest people ALWAYS get the back seat of the coach to share with their most fabulous friends. The back seat of the coach was ALWAYS the furthest away from the teachers.
No sooner had the coach left the school we compared our carefully packed lunches consisting of crisps, fizzy drinks, chocolate and lots of other things that melt if not eaten immediately. Walkmans came out of the trendiest rucksacks and Wham, Now 12 and Top of the Pops tapes were swapped from one television-sized walkman to the other. We were all set.
Ten minutes into the journey boredom kicked in, we were already starving with empty lunch boxes. Catching up on who's doing who, who's wearing the most uncool clothing and how we can annoy Miss hairy-topper-lip when we arrive at the museum was a must.
She really did look like this. Really!After numerous failed attempts to stop the coach with 'I need a wee' and 'I feel sick' we were forced to annoy the cars traveling behind us. Sitting on the back seat of the coach means it's super easy to huddle around the back window and hold up signs written for the benefit of the other road users. 'She loves you ---->' was always a favourite alongside 'She wants to snog you ---->', when this became boring there was always plenty of time left for millions of 'are we nearly there yet?'.
Yep. We were this nice to each otherArriving at the museum two hours later was always the most disappointing part of the day. Although the cat and mouse game was ready to start with Miss hairy-topper-lip as she tried to force us to answer questions on what we saw in the most boring museum in the world and we tried frantically to find the gift shop. Two pounds of pocket money later and we had every George Michael and Robert Smith fridge magnet ever made and more fabulousness to replenish the empty packed lunch boxes.
And then there was the coach ride home...
And I finally made it! First comment!
ReplyDelete"We would feel that we must have done something seriously wrong to have been punished with such boredom"...sounds very familiar :-)
I made it, first comment but I ended up anonymous...it's me...see you tonight?
ReplyDeleteWhy is it that those day trips are what we remember most in spite of our boredom? Enjoyed your narrative!
ReplyDeleteI loved the "coach trips" we were so bad, we use to hold up signs saying we were being kidnapped, or we made rude faces at those driving behind us.......no one listened to the teachers and yes ours had a hairy upper lip as well, in fact she would be almost in tears by the time we returned home. I don't remember where we went or what we saw but I have never forgotten the "coach trips", I asked for forgiveness every night even now, (just want to have covered all my bases in case there really is a hell) Happy Sunday dear friend.
ReplyDelete........:-) Hugs
Some of those teacher were seriously missing "wax pot education."
ReplyDeleteSuch a universal story. Our school outings didn't include museums because we didn't have any. Instead we went to a local lake and the teachers made us hotdogs while we ran around and got sand in all the wrong places. But the bus trip was still the best.
ReplyDeletethe best school trip for me was senior year traveling to NY on the art tour...very cool...got into a bit of trouble. smiles.
ReplyDeleteI loved those bus trips to Summer Camp!!
ReplyDeleteMiss Hairy Topper Lip? OUch... you brats were a tough crowd. Let's just be honest... I suppose you would have had a name for Miss Hair Lip too, wouldn't you? Nasty little middle schoolers. Ha!
ReplyDeleteThat said... the only thing more fun than school trips and coach rides when you're a student, is school trips and coach rides when you're a parent chaperone. Trust me. Some how I managed to sign up for both my kids when they went on their senior year Marine Biology field trips. It was fun AND educational - but the best part was lunch.
http://casahice.blogspot.com/2009/02/adrians-marine-biology-fieldtrip.html
Love ya EDdie.
I still have my trusty walkman. It's as heavy as a brick but I still love it. I listened to a lot of Culture Club, AC/DC and Spandau Ballet on that plastic brick and I thought I was so cool.
ReplyDeleteWe went to the same pioneer settlement every year. Worse was that it was in our town. Half the people who worked there were related to half the kids. I would have rather poked my eyes out with a rusty fish fork than go again. I still know the whole speal from the 'Sound and Light Tour at Night'.
Nothing like the back of the coach for fun. I never sat there myself but I watched those naughty girls get into mischief and in retrospect I wished I was there, too.
ReplyDeleteBut I was never so cool. You must have been cool, not just tall, back then.
Why ever else did you get to travel in the back of the bus?
I think my education was sorely lacking because I was driven to school, no bus rides. Your experiences on the bus sound like an integral part of the social growth we all need. What a blast! No wonder you turned out so well.
ReplyDeleteIt didn't matter where the bus was going, we were getting out of a day at school! Yesssss! And, as long as food was involved, I would be a happy camper. As a mom chaperone, however, I only went once as my face became black and blue from my boobs whacking it every time the bus hit a bump!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the trip down memory lane!
But a day on a field trip is way better than a day in the classroom ;o)
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your post today. My kids rode a school bus some of the time. I often wondered how well they behaved. I walked to school and it was probably a mile or more plus I was just 4 starting in First grade. No kindergarten. I really liked this post.
ReplyDeleteWe hardly ever rode a bus..but the screwing around factor was huge when we did!
ReplyDeleteWe missed you hissed the love cats.
ReplyDeleteGreat recollection of school trips as we all remember them, no matter where in the world we went to school.;)) Thank you for this trip down the memory lane.;)
ReplyDeleteHave a great Sunday.;)
xoxo
Poor Miss HTL -- I bet she hated you little bastards just as much as you hated her, eh?
ReplyDeleteOh yeah. I do remember these trips. You left something out for me though. I remember how the other kids had moms that knew how to mkae a really great lunch! I always had whole wheat and peanut better when they had white Wonder and bologna with cheese :).
ReplyDeleteThere were very few coach trips at my schools, and I usually managed to avoid them by saying I got seriously coach-sick (true). If there was one thing they didn't want it was the tall boy puking in all directions and having to pay the coach company extra to clean it all up.
ReplyDeleteI loved school trips but not the bus ride. The reason? We lived so far from my school in a rural area that I had to ride the school bus for at least an hour sometimes more - ONE WAY. The fun was never riding the school bus for me.
ReplyDeleteGreat Post.
I think a major part of my childhood went neglected.
ReplyDeleteLove it! You brought back lots of memories. I was short and stuck in the front. I loved field trips for the blessed break in the monotony of our classes and small school.
ReplyDeleteMy favourite school trip was Edinburgh Zoo, where I remember a giraffe farting or something. And drinking lots of Lilt. Me, not the giraffe. Although that would explain the fart, right? That trip was way better than the transport museum the following year, where we whined and refused to find interest in trains. Even Lilt didn't help.
ReplyDeleteI like Lilt!
Your recollection was so perfectly done that I relived a bit of my youth along with you! Unfortunately, I'm not happy about that. ;)
ReplyDeleteED, I tried to email you, but I guess you didn't see my message. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I wrote a post "On Being Gay" on June 19. Check out the comments!
ReplyDeleteReading your post today makes me realize what a rascal you were (are???). LOL. You and your friends must have been a handful. Thank God I wasn't your teacher!
I've been on a few trips like this, firstly as a stroppy, misbehaving teenager and then, later, as one of the accompanying teachers. There's nothing like a different perspective to teach you valuable lessons! I now feel I should try to contact all my old teachers and write letters of apology ...
ReplyDeleteIn my day the back seat was reserved for closet smokers. How we never got caught I'll never know as if you couldn't smell it at the back of the bus!
ReplyDeleteI remember going to Silver Blades Ice Rink on a school trip with a teacher called Mrs Jordan, just when the song 'Gordon is a Moron' came out. How we sang and laughed.
ReplyDeleteThe fun of bus rides, many romances bloomed and were crushed on bus rides.
ReplyDeleteThe back seat also meant you could moon the cars behind you. We did!
ReplyDeleteThis brought back lots of happy memories.
ReplyDeleteXX
After I read that I waxed my lip...and let me tell you it was time! Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDeleteAh but the school trips were a different boring than the day to day boring that school was. As for the bus ride - that happened every day for a couple years for me as I lived in the boonies.
ReplyDeleteYou made so much fun out of an otherwise not so easy a trip. That's talent. Enjoyed your post.
ReplyDeletesweet memories.
ReplyDeleteHappy Father's Day to Dads in your life!
I’ve enjoyed looking over your blog. I came across it through another blog I follow, and I’m glad I did. I am now a follower of yours as well. Feel free to look over my blog and perhaps become a follower as well.
ReplyDeleteAs the kid who always got motion sickness in the busses, I liked my feet firmly on the ground of the museum. That's when I ate Pop Rocks and felt happy.
ReplyDeleteI loved going on field trips back in the day. It always meant no homework! Thanks for a great story.
ReplyDeletejj
ED great story, all so true, you brought back some memories. take care, be well.
ReplyDeleteOh good old day trips! Very entertaining as usual! Love your new look and send some of your followers over please lol
ReplyDeleteYou could easily bring so many old memories. Take care. Well written, it was.
ReplyDeleteI called it the Horror Mobile as it carried all of us by force to the Horror School. Mr. Bus Driver was scary. He always stared at me.
ReplyDeleteLovely memories and a nice post...:)
it's been way to long since i've seen a pic of robert smith. he's so sulky and yummy.
ReplyDeletei already had you pegged as one of the cool kids who sat in the back of the bus. i bet you never ate in the school cafeteria either. instead you and your mates went outside somewhere and smoked.
LOL this brought back memories. :)
ReplyDeleteIt was always worse going...... the anticipation. Not so bad coming home. always got back quicker.
ReplyDeleteMaggie X
Nuts in May
Being a teacher, that post made me VERY uncomfortable... :-)
ReplyDeleteI was the shortest so you know where I sat. Not so much fun up there...
ReplyDeletewhen i was in middle school we used to sit as far back as we could so would could throw dice. we used our notebooks as the table and would gamble our lunch money away hoping to win a few bucks so we could buy a candy bar at lunch.
ReplyDeletealso, not sure if i mentioned before but i was born in oxford and have family in london now. ive always loved that its called a 'coach' over there. hearing you say it reminded me of a convo between my niece and my son. the first time he heard her say 'coach' instead of 'bus' he was all sorts of confused! lol
Best part of the field trip...the ride in the bus...One year, I took my students to see Mel Gibson in Hamlet...two hour bus trip from where we lived to the nearest theater...the headmaster never let me live it down..."Can't believe I'm allowing you to take your students to see a Mel Gibson movie!!" Good stuff!!
ReplyDeleteLoved your memories here!!! As usual you are delightfully hilarious!!! And you brought me HUGE smiles on this Monday!!! ~Janine XO
If only the nuns had organized trips. I think I missed out big time:-)
ReplyDeleteHAHA!!!!
ReplyDeleteI haven't grown an inch since 5th grade!!!! BUT, I'm always the SHORTEST bitch in the room. Damn all you lucky tall fucks!
I'm too old to remember anything that went on on the bus. All I know is we took the bus! LoL
ReplyDeleteI must have been stuck with the nerdy kids... We just enjoyed getting out of the school building for the day!
ReplyDeleteWhen I was a kid people used to flip the bird and moon drivers from the last seat.
ReplyDeleteYou guys sound a bit tamer than us.
I think all field trips of much in common! :-)
ReplyDeleteOh, that was fun!! Took me back to my own field trip days! My favorite thing was that the trips were the only time we were allowed to bring a can of soda in our lunches. It was this amazing treat, because at the school all that was allowed was milk. Man, I went to a lousy school!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for this!
we were glad to get out of school for a day trip so it wasn't that bad for me. ;)
ReplyDelete~ash's mum
Those were the days! I always felt sorry for the bus drivers.
ReplyDeleteJust stoppin' in to see if one of my favorite humorists has posted any more of her brilliance!! Have a wonderful rest of the week! ~Janine XO
ReplyDeleteWHERE THE HECK ARE YOU???????? I NEED my ED favorite humorist to give me my Friday laughs!!!! I'm not very demanding, am I??? LOL...~Janine XO
ReplyDeleteI used to sit in the back on band trips (in spite of the fact that I was the shortest) - that's where all the fun was.
ReplyDeleteWe always held signs up that said, "The busdriver farted and we can't breathe!!"
ReplyDeleteYup...sounds v familiar. I remember being v unpopular after taking EGG sandwiches on the bus to Cricket St Thomas. "Giants' Blow Offs" was how the smell was described.
ReplyDeleteYou're making me feel old though. Now was one of the first albums I bought. As in Now with no numbers afterwards. Just, Now. Later I bought Now Again. And then Now 2,679 etc etc.