Fancy some Thai cock?

I realise that I have been neglecting my blog. There has been far too much eating and drinking to do and I am currently the size of a small villa. Typing is not easy when your fingers look like sausages and your cheeks are so fat that they squeeze your eyes into a small squint.

Bill and Ben are still staying with us and I only hate them a little. Everyday I leave for work at stupid-o-clock and they stay asleep until sensible-o-clock. When they wake up they sleepily walk to the kitchen and make some breakfast whilst wondering about how many hours they will spend in the sunshine. Once they have mustered up the energy to get ready they wander outside and take ten steps to find the pool that they have had to themselves for the passed ten days. A few beers later they decide it's too hot and come in to wait for Mec and I to finish work so we can join them in drinking the night away. In fact I hate them A LOT!

Last week it got to 10am and realising they would still be snuggled up in bed I sent them a text message to tell them it was raining. Of course this is a 'Brits abroad' worst nightmare and I knew it would get them hurtling out of bed to check for the sun. Despite the fact that I had already told them it never rains here I got a message back saying 'oh no, I hope it doesn't come to this end of town' (no doubt at the same time they were throwing on swimming costumes to get to the pool as quickly as possible) Of course it didn't rain but I kinda wish it had.

At the weekend Mec and I took them to the desert to learn to drive in the sands. It took a while for them to get used to the fact that the steering wheel was on the wrong side and the automatic car only had two pedals but we got there eventually. Ben nearly launched us all through the front window whilst exclaiming 'Oh, the brakes are sharp' and managed to remember the highway code throughout the desert training. I am not sure that looking left and right for traffic in the desert is necessary but who am I to argue...at least the camels were safer.

Ben and Mec together is a little scary. Ben has 'isms' similar to Mec and I am amazed that Bill and I have managed ten days in the same house with them. I was told yesterday that Ben doesn't like hot drinks because they are hot...only Mec agreed and understood the statement.

We went to a party recently and it was catered by a company who provided two staff to help with drinks. At one point one of the women came running into the kitchen and said:

Woman 1: What kind of party is this?
Woman 2: Why?
Woman 1: That man there (pointing) just came and asked me for Thai cock
Woman 2: What??
Woman 1: Thai COCK

Thankfully after some investigation we discovered that he had asked for a diet coke.